on the Public Defense…

I had an email exchange with a guy ‘friend’ of mine, and basically for some reason made a list of key facts I think a guy needs to know about me going into a relationship….or even when getting involved with me.

The list includes things like:

~I hate people who “show up” at my house/apartment. I literally will not open the door if you do this, and most likely will never talk to you again.

~If forced to spoon, I’d rather be the big spoon.

~And I hate PDA. (By hate I mean loath! It makes me very uncomfortable, in fact)

So we are bantering back and forth, and I get the following.

“What are PDAs?”

(and then I get)

“ I just googled it and it said that it was something like a portable organizer, but that’s not what you mean, right?”

Ok…seriously, dude! You’re great, but who doesn’t know what PDA is?  In fact as I was typing “PDA” to him, I started writing it out in full, but thought:

Me: Self, that is silly, just make it short form.

Self: Of course, why am I writing it all out?

Me: Exactly, it’s self-explanatory.

Well apparently, there are grown ups (and smart educated ones at that) walking around not knowing the term PDA.  And this is just another reason why PDA’s should not be allowed.  If not everyone between the ages of 20-40 knows what this is or means that we should recognize it as not “legal”.

Oh…for reference, in case you didn’t know.

PDA = Public Displays of Affection  (aka, people being inappropriate in public)

I have never been a fan of the PDA. I don’t like doing them and I don’t like seeing them.

I feel like I used to believe that guys hated PDA’s and girls wanted them. I had a little twitter back and forth a few weeks back with a twitter buddy (a single girl) She basically got dumped because she wouldn’t hold hands with the guy she had been seeing for a few weeks.  Now she and I agree on the PDA’s  (not fans) she might be alittle more anti them then me (I thought I was bad) Anyways, her guy left her at the bar. Got up and straight up left her sitting there for “not holding his hand the other day”. Or at least that is what he told her. And I believe it, cause if that’s a ‘breakup line’ it’s either terrible, or kind of genius and we all know guys aren’t that genius!

When it comes to the PDA:

~I might (might) hold your hand.  BUT will defiantly not be while walking in a crowded place, and will let go of it so much that you’ll just get sick of trying.

~If I happen to ‘makeout’ with you on a corner some place and I’m not shit face drunk, I might actually like you.

~I will bluntly and loudly tell you not to put your arm around me in public.

~Public transit is no place for anything private (including conversations)

~I will not massage your back in public, thank you very much.

~I can even be awkward with general people when it comes to the handshake or hug/check kiss moments

SO the question is. What do you LOVE or HATE about the (inappropriate) PDA?

(reason #___why I’m single: I won’t make out with you on the train!)

20 responses to “on the Public Defense…

  1. thrillhouse1134

    Of course you mention PDA and automatically I think Personal Digital Assistant. Does that make me a geek? Maybe, but more of an idiot. Back to PDA’s which of course as you describe, which everyone should know, refers to public displays of affection, which I am quite uncomfortable with. Quite frankly, I would like to limit Private Displays of Affection as well. Can we not just co-exist in our separate bubbles of implied affection happily ever after?

  2. I’m no fan of it either, at least in general. That said there was always that one girl I just wanted to be touching whenever I could reach her. She seemed to feel the same about PDA but I think I was her exception as well.

    • nathan i think this is your first comment as well, so welcome! I agree, I might not be a fan but there are those certain someones (and drunken moments) where I just can’t help myself.

      • Second comment actually. I had something to say about the guy at the party who was just too BIG for magnum condoms.

        But anyway, after a few drinks I definitely tend to be more hands on but that seems a different issue than PDA. For me, a little hand holding is ok and maybe a little more is ok in a special place, like where you met or something. But never more than that. Never.

        As far as my certain someone story goes, that woman was lucky I didn’t have her anywhere and everywhere.

  3. A little off topic, but I was chatting online with a guy the other day who asked what ” :) ” meant. Are you serious?!

  4. PS. Only it didn’t come out as a smiley face but as : )

    • aussie, aussie, aussie! The boys of online dating! They are crazy right? Do you think he really meant it, or maybe as trying to have/make conversation? hmmm…but yeah, “are you serious!?”

  5. aussieinthecity

    I thought of that too. Either way…. LAME!

    As for PDA I have to admit if I’m really into the guy, I can’t help it. However, there is something to be said for self-restraint.

  6. I thought of that too. Either way…. LAME!

    As for PDA I have to admit if I’m really into the guy, I can’t help it. However, there is something to be said for self-restraint.

    • you are soo right there is something to be said for self-restraint! (although we all know I’m not so good at it!!)

      • Not to mention that losing a little control wouldn’t be nearly as fun with a little self restraint before hand. That’s why (one of many reasons) foreplay is so much fun.

    • Nathan, you are so right on it not being your first comment! I am so sorry as soon as you said that I knew your comment (my bad, my bad) I agree with you that there is something to be said for PDA once drinking has been involved! (and of course foreplay is its own thing!)

  7. OMG you’re so not Latin, are you? I love physical affection whether in private or public. Of course tame is the name of the game in public, but if I’m with a guy and he doesn’t hold my hand in public, put his arm around or reaches out to touch me at some point, I immediately start having doubts about him and me, and if we’ll eventually work out. Love physical affection, love it!

    • I am not Latin : (….. Now I’m def. not saying I don’t love the private affection….Jen, I think it’s great you love it! Go you and your lucky guy : )

  8. Ha!!
    Fuck, I just don’t understand the PDA.
    Guys need to understand that I am a freak of nature, I don’t sweat through my armpits, I sweat through my hands, so holding hands while walking through Central Park is not remotely romantic for me, it’s gross!! If it’s cold out, I need my hands to be in the jacket pocket so I don’t lose a digit.
    Also, I moisturize my hands a lot, so sweat + lotion + guy’s hand = gross sticky mess.

    Don’t get me wrong, I’m not that dead inside. It actually makes my knees weak when a guy holds my hand to cross the street, weird, I know.

    But the kissing, hugging and excessiveness on the streets is a big NO.

    And I totally agree with you, if we must spoon, then I’d rather be the big spoon (even though I’m really short, haha) because I WILL NOT STAND his warm nostril CO2-filled air on top of me when I’m trying to relax. Absolutely NOT.

    • alejandra, your not wanting to be the small spoon reason (warm nostril CO-2) made me laugh out loud….really LOL! I’m not a hand sweater, and it’s even stranger cause my hands are always cold so you think I would like to have them held…hmm…oh well, thank you for the good giggle, and I have a feeling the next time I’m laying beside a guy and I can hear/feel his warm CO-2 I will giggle to myself!!

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