As you all know Simone and I have been attending Dating Boot Camp. Well she wrote a post this past week about the ’90 day rule’ something Boot Camp endorses (although the entire man panel has disagreed) I could right a blog on my feelings of the 90 day rule and all that jazz, but you can read Simone’s (i agree with with her for the most part) Basically, here’s the deal, I don’t want to be completely emotionally attached to you and then find out we can’t or don’t work sexually. I just don’t (I have before and, even though I say this I probably will again cause such is life)I started thinking about being emotionally committed to and in love with someone.
I’ve wrote about the ‘first guy‘, and the terribleness that was that relationship. At the end of the day, I did love him, and part of me does still care for him in the sense that I am who I am now because I do NOT have him in my life, and I guess in a sense I love him for finally walking away from me. But this isn’t a story about that, this is a story about sex and love. As much I disagree with the 90day rule I will tell this little story. ‘firstguy’ and I were on this big on again off again mess for over a year: mess! And we were definitely not having sex in the last (almost) whole year of this. Actually, not alot of physical anything but we were emotional attached and even when I tried to break a way he’d come crawling back with gifts and promises of us being perfect for each other (and even tales of how much god was telling him I was the one). In a moment of weakness, (in one of the many moments of weakness) I took his sorry ass back. (I did) He showed up at my dorm said he was sorry, how much he loved me, cared for me, how he would change and the whole nine yards (including jewelry and flowers) I remember feeling like he said this but he’d be back doing the exact same thing in a week. Well that time something changed alittle. We started not only kissing we started making out, clothes came off, and he wanted to have sex. I remember saying “why?” in the why-sense of I shouldn’t do this and why is he all of a sudden wanting this after countless months of nothing. He laying right beside me on one of those tiny dorm room beds looked me straight in the eye and said. “I want to make love to you. You’re the only girl I’ve ever loved and will ever love. You are so special to me and I want to share that with you.” So we had sex. I honestly couldn’t tell you if it was good, or bad, but I can tell you its one sexual experience I will always remember. Although, now I know he was feeding me a line, I have never felt so emotionally committed to someone while having sex, and that in turn makes it one of the most pleasurable sexual experiences I’ve ever had (not on a mind blowing orgasmic way but on an emotional feelings kind of way)
So what’s this got to do with the 90 day rule? Yes, its great to get the sex out of the way so you know if two people are “compatible” but there will always be something nice about those time you ‘first’ have sex with someone you care about, and for some maybe that makes all the difference!
FACT: he didn’t talk to me or call me back for 3 weeks after that day. He then broke up with me because of an engagement (see #1 truth ive been told by a guy)